soulful art v. mindless production

I have made a decision today to discontinue Project 365. I think the reason I decided to take the project on  at the beginning of the year because I was trying to reignite my passion for photography that I had thought was no longer there. What I have learned for the past almost five months is that I still love photography but I was getting caught up in capturing something original every single day rather than enjoying the hobby of photography - and sometimes that means not shooting something every day. For the past six or seven weeks, Project 365 has just been a thorn in my side because it's turned into one more thing on my to do list. I originally discovered my love for photography through experimentation and gradually learning more and more about the camera as well as the craft. If you look in my Facebook album or at the posts on this blog, you'll notice there are some shots of the same stuff or shots that are similar. I didn't want this project to turn into some assembly line production of cookie cutter photos.


I hate quitting, though. I feel like all I've ever done is quit. I want to finish something and be able to look at it and say 'I started that and by the grace of God, I finished it.' But this project has begun to suck the life and character out of my photography and I wasn't striving for beauty or excellence. I think as the days dragged on, it became more about proving to myself that I could bloody finish something that I started. And in that attempt, I only frustrated myself further by producing photos that I didn't like or find beautiful. And if I did see this project through to December 31, what would I gain? What's the point of having 365 photos that were created in a hurry and given no real thought. I'm not trying to beat myself up and there are some shots from Project365 that I really like. But I don't want my photography to turn into something that I feel I must do when it's something I should want to do. If my creative work isn't coming from my heart, then it's not really worth it to me. So while I'm really disappointed that I'm quitting this project, I feel pretty liberated. Now instead of being another bullet on my to-do list, my photography can be art again. 

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I've been using this blog mainly to share photos and share music, thoughts, and links. Since project365 is no more, I will obviously be doing a lot more writing. I'll be doing a lot more in the 'To: Writers' category and I might post some of the fiction I write. And I might occasionally post a photo or two. We'll see. But while I'm sad to see Project 365 go, I'm excited to turn a new page in the life of this blog. 

Peace out

M 

(ps: I'm testing out different sign-offs) :)