soulful art v. mindless production

I have made a decision today to discontinue Project 365. I think the reason I decided to take the project on  at the beginning of the year because I was trying to reignite my passion for photography that I had thought was no longer there. What I have learned for the past almost five months is that I still love photography but I was getting caught up in capturing something original every single day rather than enjoying the hobby of photography - and sometimes that means not shooting something every day. For the past six or seven weeks, Project 365 has just been a thorn in my side because it's turned into one more thing on my to do list. I originally discovered my love for photography through experimentation and gradually learning more and more about the camera as well as the craft. If you look in my Facebook album or at the posts on this blog, you'll notice there are some shots of the same stuff or shots that are similar. I didn't want this project to turn into some assembly line production of cookie cutter photos.


I hate quitting, though. I feel like all I've ever done is quit. I want to finish something and be able to look at it and say 'I started that and by the grace of God, I finished it.' But this project has begun to suck the life and character out of my photography and I wasn't striving for beauty or excellence. I think as the days dragged on, it became more about proving to myself that I could bloody finish something that I started. And in that attempt, I only frustrated myself further by producing photos that I didn't like or find beautiful. And if I did see this project through to December 31, what would I gain? What's the point of having 365 photos that were created in a hurry and given no real thought. I'm not trying to beat myself up and there are some shots from Project365 that I really like. But I don't want my photography to turn into something that I feel I must do when it's something I should want to do. If my creative work isn't coming from my heart, then it's not really worth it to me. So while I'm really disappointed that I'm quitting this project, I feel pretty liberated. Now instead of being another bullet on my to-do list, my photography can be art again. 

___________________

I've been using this blog mainly to share photos and share music, thoughts, and links. Since project365 is no more, I will obviously be doing a lot more writing. I'll be doing a lot more in the 'To: Writers' category and I might post some of the fiction I write. And I might occasionally post a photo or two. We'll see. But while I'm sad to see Project 365 go, I'm excited to turn a new page in the life of this blog. 

Peace out

M 

(ps: I'm testing out different sign-offs) :)

As I'm finding the words, you're getting away

Day 103-107

Day 103

Day 104 

Day 105

Day 106 

Day 107

Now a living fountain, see!

Today is Good Friday and I just wanted to write a post about this time of year and what it means to me and to all Christians around the world...


Today is the day that we remember the day that Jesus Christ, the perfect Son of the one true God, was betrayed and tortured and murdered for the sins of the world who had turned against him. Whenever this time of year rolls around I always find myself subconsciously wishing we could skip the whole Good Friday thing and go straight to the rejoicing, joyful part: Easter Sunday. But for some reason this year, I've been embracing this short period of remembering what I used to be, where I was, and what my God did to rescue me. I want to share with you some of the Old Testament prophecies about Jesus and his plan to redeem his people.


The prophet Isaiah, through the revelation of God, prophesied of the birth of Jesus hundreds of years before it actually happened. 


     "Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14 (This prophecy was fulfilled and the account of this can be found in Matthew 1:18-25)
    
The work of Jesus Christ was also prophesied in Isaiah.


      “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
      Because the LORD has anointed Me
      To preach good tidings to the poor;
      He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
      To proclaim liberty to the captives,
      And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
        To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
      And the day of vengeance of our God;
      To comfort all who mourn,
       To console those who mourn in Zion,
      To give them beauty for ashes,
      The oil of joy for mourning,
      The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
      That they may be called trees of righteousness,
      The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:1-3 (This prophecy was fulfilled and the account is found in the four Gospel books in the Bible, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John)

The death of Jesus was prophesied in Isaiah.

      He is despised and rejected by men,
      A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
      And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
      He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
        Surely He has borne our griefs
      And carried our sorrows;
      Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
      Smitten by God, and afflicted.
        But He was wounded for our transgressions,
      He was bruised for our iniquities;
      The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
      And by His stripes we are healed.
       All we like sheep have gone astray;
      We have turned, every one, to his own way;
      And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:3-6 (This prophecy was also fulfilled and the account is found in all four Gospel. One reference is from the book of Matthew 26-27)

Jesus died the death the whole of mankind deserved but to prove to the world that he was more powerful  than Satan and death, he rose again from the dead three days after His crucifixion. Through Jesus' resurrection, he conquered death and made a way for sinful man to be reconciled to God. 

 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.  His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow.  The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
  The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.  Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him.  Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” Matthew 28:1-10

If you believe in Jesus Christ and have accepted him as your savior, I would encourage you to spend today remembering what he did for you. Remember that there is nothing you can do to earn your salvation and that it took the hideous torturing and death of Jesus Christ to make your place in heaven available. Only his blood is sufficient to save. Remember that everyday not just on Good Friday.

If you don't believe in Jesus Christ or are unsure about the Gospel, I would ask you to consider the Scripture above. The bolded passages above come from the Bible, the holy, inerrant word of God that is powerful and living. God is powerful and the death of Jesus has made the way for sinners to restore their broken relationship with God. He is mighty to save and his grace is sufficient for you. 

In His power and strength alone...

M

      

Day 102

Day 102
This picture does not do the ferocity of the hail storm justice. Around 4:30 this afternoon it started raining and hailing like crazy! It was blowing around the yard like rocks. 

Oh, to have talent like this

This guy is so amazingly talented. His phrasing and improv are just mad. Give it a listen. 

Ignore the corny graphics and font. This song and his voice are so beautiful.

It's all downhill from here!

As of this morning, I sent out my support letters for the mission trip I'm going on this summer! It was a huge relief to get them all sent out, but now the hard part begins: waiting. I know that God will provide what I need and this is the only thing that keeps me from going absolutely crazy while waiting to see who will write me back. I'm so excited for this trip, I know that God has got something huge planned. I don't think we're going to see it coming either. 

____________________

Some awesome stuff has happened in the past few days. I talked with my advisor last week and we came to a few conclusions

~I'm not going to change majors just yet (I was thinking about changing from English--Creative Writing to English--Composition)

~I'm going to finish the English core and then take a technical writing course in the Spring of 2012 to see  if I like it. If I like it, then I am going to switch to Composition. 

If I choose Composition...

I don't know where this leaves the whole creative writing thing, though. I still plan to write fiction but I don't know if I'll actually study it in college. Right now, the goal is to get a degree with which I can get a job doing something that I love to do. I love to write fiction, but it is rare to find a job where fiction pays the bills, even my adviser agreed. I will continue doing what I love to do while pursuing a more employable career. 

If I choose Creative Writing...

I don't know what kind of jobs are out there for folks with degrees in creative writing, but I guess if I choose this focus, I'll find out. :) Regardless of which focus I choose, God's got a plan and I'm praying for him to make my choices clear. Now is the time to trust him, not get flustered about the details of how or when. He will show me what to do when the time is perfect. He is perfect in all he does--

As for God, His way is perfect;
      The word of the Lord is proven;
      He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

2 Samuel 22:31

____________________

Side note: I'm trying to think of an interesting way to sign off of blog posts. I hate the sort of abrupt ending that I always come to. If you have any ideas, tell me! 

Days 96-101

Day 96
Darn cat!

Day 97

Day 98

Day 99

Day 100

Day 101

Greater things

During spring break I heard a song called Clear The Stage by Ross King and ever since, it's been in the back of my mind. Basically, as I was listening the lyrics for the first time I thought, This song could be the framework for a book. The song basically talks about eliminating all idols from our lives and letting go of all obstacles that keep us from God. It talks about being genuine in our worship and being sure of what we're worshipping.

 So many times, I find myself singing in church or reading my Bible and my thoughts are nowhere on God. "This people honors me with their lips but their hearts are far from me." Jesus said this and I believe it is one of the biggest problems in the church, among Christians, and for me personally. One of the hardest things is to match our hearts up with our words. Jesus desires the most genuine part of his people which is the heart but most of the time, our hearts are so infested with idolatry and earthly goals and desires that we don't even realize that we have other gods before him. 

So I've been thinking about writing a book about this subject for a while now, and God seems to be placing all sorts of indicators in my life to encourage this idea. The Bible studies I'm in always seem to go back to idolatry. This past Sunday, the sermon was about making God the top priority in our lives, and that song always seems to pop up more often than it used to whenever I shuffle the iPod. :) So I'm taking these as signs and running with them. I don't know how long it will take to get this book started or finished because honestly, I'm terrified to write it. I'm scared because I know that during the research it will take to write it, I will uncover so many flaws in my faith and worship. I mean, I know this will be a good thing to learn where I'm faltering in my faith, but I don't want to be uncomfortable. But that is what is necessary. It's uncomfortable and unpleasant when you find sin in your life, but it's only when you get downwind of yourself when you realize how much you need God's forgiveness and faithfulness to help you make the necessary changes to your life. 

So this will be a good thing. A very hard, but very good thing. Please pray for me that God would show me where I'm putting things or people before him (He's already convicted me a lot lately about this, but I'm sure there's more to come). Pray that I would not become discouraged but encouraged to make changes to the way I live my life. :) 

Thanks for reading. :)

I'm totally cheating. But, oh well. Days 79-95

I took most of these on the day I took my friends' prom photos, but I'm almost caught up! :)

Day 79

Day 80

Day 81

Day 82

Day 83 

Day 84 

Day 85

Day 86

Day 87

Day 88

Day 89

Day 90

Day 91

Day 92

Day 93

Day 94

Day 95

Zero pictures, one blotchy tan, and two lost chapters later...

Still behind on Project365 and on everything else that is non-school related. My apologies.


So I have this horrible farmer's tan on my arms and the dress I bought for graduation is sleeveless. So in an attempt to fix this I bought some sunless tanning lotion. After first time I used it, I realized that I hadn't applied the stuff evenly so I had made the problem worse. There's a huge streak on my left arm where I missed. :P I read up on how to apply tanning lotion properly and I decided to let this recent fail of a tan job go away and then try again closer to graduation.


I feel like I've written so much uselessness in the past few days. It's been around two weeks since I last wrote anything I wanted to because I was swamped with school projects and tests. So yesterday when I finished all this s...stuff I went to open the document on my computer that contained the story I was working on. Well. It wasn't there. I checked each of the twenty-some odd documents in my computer thoroughly but the one document I needed had just disappeared. I started panicking. Majorly. Seven whole chapters vanished into thin air. I know seven chapters doesn't seem like much, especially when you're reading them. But for the person who wrote them, seven chapters is so much to loose. After a mini panic attack, I realized with some relief that I had sent the first five chapters to a friend to look over. I went to my inbox and, thank God, found the email with the first five chapters. So in reality, only two chapters were lost but I'm still quite upset about it because I really really liked those last two chapters. I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic, but I liked those last two chapters more than anything I had ever written. They really dug deep into my characters' lives and some major plot development came out of them.  I remember the basic information from the chapters and will be able to rewrite the gist of what I originally had, but it just won't be the same. I'm hoping and praying that I can remember some of the exact phrasing, dialogue, and descriptions I used. I want to rewrite these two babies over the weekend.


On a happier note, tomorrow I'm going to take some prom pictures for a few friends of mine. I'm excited to see their pretty dresses and hairstyles. :) I took their pictures last year and they were absolutely gorgeous! Here are a couple from last time :)

Day 30...Finally!

For the last post of the 30-Day Blogger Challenge, I'd like to end with the chorus of a song. Seems like a nice way to end things and these lyrics say more about myself than I ever could. 

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours. 

~Who Am I? by Casting Crowns 

•Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
•Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name
•Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
•Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
•Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
•Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
•Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
•Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
•Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
•Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
•Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
•Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
•Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
•Day 14- A picture of you and your family
•Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)•Day 17- Someone you would want toswitch lives with for one day and why
•Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have•Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them•Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future•Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy•Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else•Day 23- Something you crave for a lot•Day 24- Your favorite place to think•Day 25- What I would find in your bag•Day 26- What you think about your friends•Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge•Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?•Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned•Day 30- Who are you?

Day 75-78

Okay, I'm still not caught up all the way, but here are some more photos. So sorry for being so behind! Ever since my run-in with the flu, I've been completely exhausted and unmotivated. I will get over it eventually. :P

Day 75
These are my eyes. I took this when I was sick. My eyes were watering really bad and I thought it'd made a cool picture :)

Day 76
This is a shot of some of the necklaces I gave on my chain holder.

Day 77

Day 78
Some of the clovers in my yard after it rained.